Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Today's Checklist in Hand

I thought about making the to do list last night, and then decided that since I pray "Give us this day our daily bread", I should probably take things one day at a time in both worrying about what I will get as blessings and what I should do. I made the to-do list up after I woke up.

I have now applied to thirteen jobs and have one job interview on Thursday for a part time position. I am hoping that this will amount to something as I am worried that Tim's hours might get cut at any time. Then again, give us this day our daily bread, his hours were not cut *this* week and he is at work currently. I need to try my best to keep things to one day at a time, as hard as that really is.

My anxiety level is up but I am happy to say under control enough that it doesn't need medicine, yet. I am hoping that it stays that way all day. If not, I have to remember that it isn't a failure on my part but merely one of the tools in the tool box God gave me to help me deal with this particular situation as well as my disorder in general.

I am thinking about riding my bike around for exercise. At my previous employer, I would take regular walks with the kids and hardly sat around. I am hoping that some physical exercise outside of the apartment will help my mood. I have already decided that no matter how messy the house is, the windows will be opened daily for as much natural light as I can get. I might feel like life is dark and dank right now, but I don't need my house to fit my mood. God will provide as He has so far and will continue to do so.

The birds are checking on me on a regular basis. I think they can tell when I am all anxious as well. One or two of them check up on me on a fairly regular basis if there is not already one on my computer or on my shoulder. I often wonder how they know these things and then I remember that God uses them too, even if they aren't cognitively doing it. Yet another way that God gives me my daily bread- even if I don't have people calling and checking on me, the birds do and that makes me feel less lonely as well.

Well, one job application down for today already so now the housework and recreation things await. God will provide my daily bread today as well. This I know because He has promised it.