Frustrations and Triumphs

Well, about a month ago, Walgreens laid me off as a PhT. I can't help but be frustrated at it. They have done great to take care of me, though. They got me a job at less pay at the front end so that I could still make ends meet and have worked hard to keep me up to date on when call backs are happening, which is great because I truly miss being in the pharmacy. The good news related to that is that I took my CPhT test three days after they laid me off and got a 867 out of 900, with passing being a 650. Now I can sign my name with a CPhT at the end if I wanted to! :) I am a nerd, I'll admit it.

I am still waiting for my dh to get a full time call so that he can get on with his career and we can move on from this drawn out chapter of him working at Walmart. Don't get me wrong, they have been good to him, too, but it's definitely not what he wants to do with his life. I am hoping that with the election of Pr. Matt Harrison to the LCMS presidency that he can work to help those who have unfairly been removed from their calls as pastors and can work to put them back into the Synod by bringing light to this injustice and reassuring congregations that these are good men in bad circumstances who deserve a "second chance" as a full time pastor. By God's grace, our feelings of exile will soon come to an end.

A Little Heartache...

I miss my family. Every day I think about them and I hope that they are okay. I wish I could see them and be with them every day. However, that is not where God has us. They are scattered among many different states and there are miles between us, but that doesn't keep them far from my heart. My folks are coming to see me in a few days. I haven't seen them in a year. It will be good to talk and laugh and tell stories and enjoy the bonds that God gave us many years ago. I am hoping to see my older brother, his wife and kids in a few weeks. I haven't seen them in a couple of years, which is way too long for me. The kids have gotten so big, I am sure. My little brother and his wife are expecting. I haven't seen them since their wedding, and really then I didn't get to spend that much time with them. I was merely a support character in the background of their big day. In fact, I was so involved taking care of my niece and nephew that I am not sure I ever made it into any of the pictures! I just hope they know how much I love them and how special they are to me. Family is a wonderful gift from God.

Do They Add Up?

I have been looking over the numbers that I was able to glean from the CSL and CTS websites regarding placement. (There is a key to the abbreviations at the bottom of the page.)

CSL placement list
CTS placement list

Here's what I found:

• CSL M.Div and A.R. candidates placed: 88
• CTS M.Div and A.R. candidates placed: 40
• CSL M.Div and A.R. candidates awaiting placement: 4
• CTS M.Div and A.R. candidates awaiting placement: 21
• CSL CCMC, CHS, DELTO, and EIIT candidates placed: 28
• CSL CCMC, CHS, DELTO, and EIIT candidates awaiting placement: 5

So the numbers are actually a bit different than first indicated. CCMC, CHS, DELTO, and EIIT are all special programs that receive special placements. They aren't considered a part of the general pool of candidates in the same way as M.Div and A.R. candidates. So the disparity between the two is actually 21-4. The 4 candidates from St. Louis make up approximately 4.35% of the eligible placement class of 92. The 21 candidates from Fort Wayne make up approximately 34.43% of the eligible placement class of 61.

Furthermore, I also analyzed the number of candidates from each seminary placed into each district. The first number represents the CSL M.Div and A.R. candidates. The second number represents the CTS M.Div and A.R. candidates.

• Atlantic: 1-0
• California-Nevada-Hawaii: 3-0
• Central Illinois: 3-1
• Eastern: 0-1
• English: 2-1
• Florida-Georgia: 2-1
• Indiana: 0-4
• Iowa East: 0-2
• Iowa West: 4-3
• Kansas: 2-2
• Michigan: 5-6
• Mid-South: 1-0
• Minnesota North: 4-1
• Minnesota South: 5-0
• Missouri: 5-1
• Montana: 2-0
• Nebraska: 5-1
• New England: 1-0
• New Jersey: 0-0
• North Dakota: 0-2
• North Wisconsin: 3-2
• Northern Illinois: 4-1
• Northwest: 7-0
• Ohio: 3-1
• Oklahoma: 0-1
• Pacific Southwest: 4-0
• Rocky Mountain: 1-1
• SELC: 1-0
• South Dakota: 3-2
• South Wisconsin: 5-0
• Southeastern: 4-0
• Southern: 1-1
• Southern Illinois: 2-1
• Texas: 5-3
• Wyoming: 0-1

The following districts received CTS M.Div and/or A.R. candidates but did not receive any CSL M.Div or A.R. candidates. These districts received a total of 11 CTS candidates. The number of CTS candidates received per district is in parentheses:

1. Eastern (1)
2. Indiana (4)
3. Iowa East (2)
4. North Dakota (2)
5. Oklahoma (1)
6. Wyoming (1)

The following districts received CSL M.Div and/or A.R. candidates but did not receive any CTS M.Div or A.R. candidates. These districts received a total of 34 CSL candidates. The number of CSL candidates received per district is in parentheses:

1. Atlantic (1)
2. California-Nevada-Hawaii (3)
3. Mid-South (1)
4. Minnesota South (5)
5. Montana (2)
6. New England (1)
7. Northwest (7)
8. Pacific Southwest (4)
9. SELC (1)
10. South Wisconsin (5)
11. Southeastern (4)

The following district did not receive any M.Div or A.R. candidates from either seminary:

1. New Jersey

The following districts did not receive any CSL M.Div or A.R. candidates, but did receive CSL CCMC, CHS, DELTO, and/or EIIT candidates. The number of candidates received per district is in parentheses:

1. Eastern (2)
2. New Jersey (1)

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Key:
M.Div = Master of Divinity
A.R. = Alternate Route
CCMC = Cross Cultural Ministry Center
CHS = Center for Hispanic Studies
CSL = Concordia St. Louis
CTS = Concordia Theological Seminary (Fort Wayne)
DELTO = Distance Education Leading To Ordination
EIIT = Ethnic Immigrant Institute of Theology

Why do we do the things we do?

Traditions and rituals are passed down from generation to generation for a reason. Often these are honored and revered but just as often they are objects of ridicule because it appears that those who follow them are unwilling or unable to change. Those who want to try to recreate the Christmas of their childhood are looked upon with understanding and love as they try to recapture their youth while those who participate in a church using the same liturgy passed down from the centuries are seen as old fashioned and stubborn. Why is that?

Why is it that the liturgy is such an important part of being a Confessional Lutheran? Well, you can leave it to the pastors to tell you the reasons why it is formed the way that it is. You can hear how it is rooted in the Scriptures, that it follows a pattern leading up to Communion, and that it is set in a way that teaches us about God's goodness every step of the way. But that isn't all. There is more that is very basic and simple.

Liturgy is Scriptures put to song. When you are teaching young children, you sing to them to help them learn. This includes the ABCs, learning the days of the week, and many other things. The same is true of the liturgy. Singing the same thing every week helps memorize and put to heart those things which we need to know. Anyone who has tried to sit down and memorize the Bible will find it a insurmountable task. However, we know more Scriptures than we think just by singing them every Sunday. To change that, to eliminate that, would be to take away a great teaching tool from the people of God. Others might think that it is boring and mundane, but then again, they need to learn what is going on. Passed down from the generations, rekindled at the Reformation, and brought to the Americas from the German language, the liturgy in the form that it is has taught God's people about God's grace and mercy four countless generations. These same Scriptures put to song in the liturgy come to mind in some of the roughest situations to remind us of God's grace and mercy. Humming tunes through the day (especially when they get stuck in our heads) helps bring the remembrance of the Scriptures in our daily lives.

The next time someone wonders aloud why I am so unwilling to change, I think I might just remind them what a treasure trove we have with the liturgy and why it is too good to give up for something that doesn't compare.

Something Old, Something New (for me!)

So I have been getting my fingers into many different things lately. It is borne from trying my best to work to wean myself off of my stronger medication as well as to find things to do that isn't staring at the TV or computer screen blankly for hours at a time. I have been researching my genealogy and have found ancestors that date back to 1774 in Ireland. I am currently working on learning more about the German side of my family and how the Lutheran line was passed down. I hope I find something about that soon. It has been neat to discover things about my family and link them to historical events that I learned about in school. I think my Irish ancestors were part of the immigration to the Americas because of the Potato Famine. I haven't quite learned the reasons why the German side came to the States, but I am sure I will discover it eventually.

This research helps me feel like I am not so alone. I have all this family, some of which I never knew about, who did things like leave home across the ocean never to return again, and I complain that I am a twelve hour drive away! They managed to forge their way in frontier land and I complain that I have to live in a city where everything is established. It's kinda neat to think about and humbling to realise how much easier I have it than they did, and they survived.

To top it all off, I realize that I take communion with many of these ancestors of mine each Sunday when with angels and archangels and all the company of heaven we partake of the heavenly Feast of the Lamb. That's just awesome- the great grandparents I never met stand with me at the Table. God is just cool like that!

Necessity is the Mother of Invention

They say necessity is the mother of invention. In my case, they'd be right. Daffy, our little cinnamon pearl cockatiel has been making a nuisance of herself and started plucking her back very badly since winter started. To make matters worse, she royally scabbed up her back and was picking at the scab until it was bleeding horrible. I recognized the need for an e-collar, but was plum out and wondering how I was going to make this happen. Then it dawned on me- I have scraps of material, sew on velcro and a sewing machine. Within ten minutes, I had a reusable, washable, handy dandy e-collar that would bend and allow her to eat without getting in the way and keep her from ripping her back up and ripping off scabs that had formed. I am darn proud of myself! It works like a charm!

Wow, it's been too long since I posted...

Things have been going crazy around here from the different work schedule (I had almost forgotten how crazy retail hours are) to the studying and everything else that is going on. I didn't mean to neglect my blog, I just did! Ewps!

I have to say that I am very impressed with my anxiety levels as all of these changes have been happening. For the most part, I have been going with the flow of things and haven't really had any episodes to think about or worry about. I have been making sure to daily take stock of where I am on my anxiety and try to figure out why I have the anxiety that I do if I notice it. It has worked very well and I am very impressed with how I have handled things. Even some of the rougher situations that would normally throw me completely out of whack have been simple and easy to handle.

I started something new this week that is a little more personal, but kinda not at the same time. Lately, I have been looking into ways to save a little more money here and there so that we can stretch our dollars a little farther. One of the things that I discovered is something I would have never thought of! When Auntie Flow comes to town, I had always figured that to be a cost that I would just have to live with, so imagine my surprise when I found that there are people out there who make cloth pads! The price is a little costly at first, so I saved up my money and researched it fully for what I wanted. My initial questions like, "Will they leak?" and "Will they stain?" flooded my mind as I researched it. I finally found one that I thought would work for me and put my money down. They arrived on Sat and Auntie Flow came soon after. It was the big test, I thought, and so I dove in. And I was pleasantly surprised! No leaks. No stains. These things are amazing! The best part is I can throw them in the wash and use them again and again. Comfortable and cute and if I treat them right, something that will last for years to come. Odd thing to be giddy about, I know, but I thought I would share anyway! :)